Fairy Tales Mewtwo 1
by Mewlon
Summary: Reposted. What happens when Mewtwo gets stuck babysitting the kids, due to Peach's orders? Insanity rolls! Bowser's Rumplestiskin and Samus doesn't not like this! Sheik is Cinderella?


_Gah! I don't know where in the hell this came from, but I  
had a vision of it while I was in a private moment. I was also watching One  
Piece at the same time while I was thinking this. Oh well. This story is about  
Mewtwo telling a story to the kids._

_I don't own the characters nor do I own the story. All  
material belongs to their respected owner. Oh and just for your convenience,  
when Mewtwo is narrating, text will be italicize like this. When the characters  
are doing actions, the story will have regular font._

**Fairy Tales #1:  
Mewtwo**

"All right kids," spoke Mewtwo as he looked at the children,  
"settle down. Let's get to the bedrooms."

The Kids Smashers were far to busy making  
much noise to listen to what Mewtwo had been saying. Nana and Popo had gotten sticks  
from the garden and started to throw them at Ness and Young Link, saying that  
they were playing "Eskimo." The young elfin used his shield to block out the  
sticks then took out his slingshot and fired some rocks at the Eskimo children.

It was then that things got out of control.  
Ness jumped on top of the television and started to levitate things from the  
living room. He lifted the pillows from the couch and threw them at the other  
children. Nana let out a huge yell as the pillow hat knocked her off her feet  
then upon the ground. She then created a chunk of ice in her hands then threw  
it the psychic boy.

Mewtwo hated this. He hated when Peach had  
assigned him to take care of the children for the evening. The psychic Pokemon  
begged not to in charge of taking care of the kids, but the Mushroom Kingdom  
Princess had insisted that he had to, if he didn't want his little secret of  
him loving to watch One Piece and having a crush on Nami.

_Curse that bitch, Peach for making me do  
this! _Growled the Pokemon as he accidentally lifted the couch near him and  
threw it passed him. The couch went flying and had hit the SSBM burgerlar that  
was by the window. The robber fell off from the window and broke his back.  
Meanwhile, Mewtwo had remembered that he tried to get the Teen Smashers to  
baby-sit the Kid Smashers.

All of the Adult Smashers, including  
Ganondorf and Bowser had left to either go eat, watch a movie, or go to the  
ballad. Even though Ganondorf and Bowser said that they wanted to go eat,  
Mewtwo had read their minds and found out that they were going to watch the  
Sugar Plum Fairy ballad. Mewtwo had to keep that piece of information stuck to  
his mind and chuckled to himself.

Mewtwo tried all ways to stop the Teen  
Smashers from going out to their destinations that evening. Roy wanted to go  
night club that evening and dance the night away. Marth had plans to see the  
opera the evening as well with Mario and Peach. Zelda, too, was going with  
Marth to see the opera. Samus had told everyone to leave her alone that evening  
and locked her room door behind her.

Link said that he had important business to  
attend to and left through the doors. Mewtwo had followed him that evening and  
saw him to head towards the forest and then decided to take a nap there. The  
psychic Pokemon's fury grew even more that time as everyone in the stadium had  
something "important" to do that evening.

Finally back in the present time, Mewtwo  
glared down at the children, who took no notice that he even existed. Popo ran  
towards the kitchen and open the refridgerator. He pulled out a rather big fish  
and raised it over his head in victory. He ran towards Nana and decided to show  
off his find. The other three children stopped and looked at fish.

"Victory!" shouted Popo as he shook the fish. "Come, Nana,  
we feast on it!"

"Okay." Replied his sister as they ran through the hallways  
and towards their bedroom.

Ness and Young Link had looked at each other  
then nodded in approval to join forces to stop the Eskimo kids. Quickly, they  
followed after them and pounced on the twins. All four children began to yell,  
whine, and scream as they wrestled for the fish. Mewtwo floated towards the  
hallway of the children's bedroom. Closing his eyes, he could not take anymore  
of the noise.

"Shut up!" He shouted as he lifted all four children in the  
air and separated them. "You are acting worse then Cubones when they ate some  
of the cherri berry leaves!"

"Oh, hi Mewtwo!" chirped Nana.

"Gah! Listen, it's time for bed. Now give me that fish and  
no one will get hurt."

"You have to catch us first!" shouted Popo as he rose up to  
his feet.

The other Kid Smashers began to rush through  
the hallways as they passed the fish to one another. Mewtwo had just had it  
with the children. He had no more patients for them as he floated towards them.  
As he arrived at the hallway, Young Link threw the fish at Mewtwo by accident.  
The Pokemon then smelt the fish smell upon him as flies out of nowhere  
surrounded him.

"Uh oh, you're gonna be in twouble, Link," spoke Nana as she  
hid behind Popo.

"I bet Mewtwo is pissed at you," spoke Ness.

"Listen you little…" snarled Mewtwo.

"Whoa, calm down, we're getting to our bed rooms."

"Good."

"Um…" let out Nana as she looked down at the floor.

"What is it, Nana?"

"I can't sleep without a story."

"Story? What do I look like, Mother Goose? I don't know any  
stories."

"Please?"

"Tell us a story!" Let out Popo as he lifted his hands in  
the air.

"Story! Story! Story!" chanted the kids.

"All right! I'll tell you a stupid story!" Let out Mewtwo.  
"A story about a Jigglypuff whom became a ninja to get a boy's attention."

"Um, we've all ready lived through that," inquired Ness, "if  
you look at that fanfiction, we've all ready have had the experience."

"Gah! Then what do you want?"

"Let's get some books out!"

The Kid Smashers then rushed through their  
rooms and looked around for certain books. Nana took out some of the girly  
books, while her brother took out adventure books. Ness had some magazines,  
while Young Link took out whatever had writings on them. Once the kids had returned  
with their books or whatever reading materials, Mewtwo only let out a sigh.

"Some of these things aren't books," spoke Mewtwo, "what the  
hell is this?"

"Um…something," replied Young Link.

"You have no clue that this is a letter…and it's addressed to  
Samus by your big self. You know what, I'm keeping this letter…it will make  
perfect black mail material. Now on to choose a book."

_Now, let's see here, _thought the  
Pokemon as he searched through the mountains of books. _Not this one, and  
defiantly not this one. What the? A magazine about baseball? Not interesting.  
Cinderella…no….Snow White…no….Mother Goose rhymes…no! Gah! None of these books  
are any good or have any educational mean! Fine…I'll pick this one._

Mewtwo picked up a rather rugged  
looking book which had part of its hard cover falling off. The title had been  
partly scratched out, but one can make out the words, "Rumpelstiltskin," on it.  
Upon opening the book, Mewtwo couldn't believe that stuff it had. _What…a  
story about some guy how sold a cow to get beans? This is just rubbish._

"Read us that book!" chirped Nana as she jumped up and down.

"Yeah! Read us that book!" agreed Popo.

"Sigh…fine, I'll read this book, now get into your night  
clothes so I can read you the story…well maybe I should tell you the REAL story  
about Rumpelstiltskint."

Upon hearing Mewtwo's words, the kids' eyes  
widen and quickly motivated them to head to their rooms and dress in their  
night clothes. All the children ran towards Young Link's room and snuggled  
inside of his bed. They all had waited patiently to hear Mewtwo's story. _Oh,  
now they shut up and act like angels when I'm gonna tell them a stupid story, _thought  
the white Pokemon.

"All right then," spoke Mewtwo as he opened the book then  
tossed it over his shoulder, "the story about Rumpelstiltskin."

**Mewtwo's Narrative**

_Once upon a time in a far away  
kingdom….there was a rather fat and lazy king by the name of King Mario. And he  
and his rather uptight and ugly wife, Peach had a stupid idiotic son, who is  
total Neanderthal, named Link. Now these stupid people wanted their stupid son  
to marry some dumb blonde princess from far away._

"That's-a real-a rude!" Called back Mario as he sat upon his  
throne.

"You're so mean! And I'm not ugly or old," replied Peach.

"_Shut up, I'm telling the story."_

_Anyway, back to the story before, stupid  
over there decides to say anything. _Link took a minute to think about what  
was said to him. Once he got what was going on, he was about to protest. _And  
so, as the story begins, the king and queen brought in some useless princess to  
try to marry him. She was none other then a blonde bimbo named Zelda._

"You terrible, terrible thing!" Barked back Zelda, as she  
shook her fist.

_Sigh, she approached the king and queen. _Zelda  
then walked over to the king and queen and curtsied for Mario and Peach. The  
blonde princess then smiled at them and walked over towards Link, whom looked  
as bored as hell. _The princess then tried to impress the prince with a  
sonnet which she had came out with._

"Rock-a-bye sweet prince! Rock-a-bye hard, and when  
everything slips on a banana peel, you'll fall down on your butt!" Sang Zelda  
off key.

"Damn! This is worse then Deku Scrubs in heat!" Shouted back  
Link as he covered his ears.

"You said it!" Called back Peach.

"Oh, shut it up!" screamed Mario.

_Even though, the "beautiful" sonnet sung  
by the princess was not even good enough to impress the prince…or leaving him  
to be able to hear again. And so, the king and queen decided to post up posters  
in which they had a great plan. _Luigi rushed through the stage and towards  
some random wall. He then began to post up a poster that read the following:

**Free Beer!**

**Now that we got your attention:**

**Dear unfortunate peasants,**

**Want to get rich quick? Maybe you have a  
daughter whom you can't seem to get rid of once she eats away your minutes on  
your cell phone? Then come and bring over your daughter to the Princess  
Selection auction. It will be that the wonder, the magnificent, glorious,  
generous, loving, good-looking, and strong king Mario and Queen Peach will  
chose a suitable bride for the handsome prince, Link.**

**See you there! Free Food….**

…**.just kidding! You need to pay for it. We're not  
philanthropists.**

**- King Mario and Queen Peach**

"I-a hate-a my job," growled Luigi, "why can't I-a have-a  
a-better-a job?"

"_Because you suck! Now just leave the scene and vanish  
into the background._

Luigi growled even more and left the  
stage, while mumbling things that said about how he is under appreciated and  
how Mario hogs everything. Of course no one really cared. _All right, people  
from all over places came by to see the stupid poster and it took them about a  
day and a half to register what it meant._

_Meanwhile, somewhere in another part of  
town, hidden in all the junk in the world, there was some crappy shack. Inside  
of the shack was a rather poor and broke ass family which consisted of a  
mother. And a rather bitchy daughter with an attitude problem. They were  
extremely poor that they had to buy their home out on the dumb district._

As the characters appeared in the stage,  
Marth had a rather angered face. His cheeks were covered in exaggerated blush  
while his lips were smeared with lipstick all over him. He wore a loose blue  
dress and a bandana over his blue hair. The prince was rather annoyed by the entire  
thing. Meanwhile, Samus was in a dark brown dress that hung on her shoulders  
and was cut above her knees.

"What the hell am I the mother!" growled Marth as he shook  
a fist.

"Shut up, you're only my mother temporarily," replied Samus.

"_Shut up, both of you and say your lines!"_

"Stupid cat thing…." Sneered Marth.

"_What was that? You want a migraine?"_

"Hark, my child," spoke Marth in a falsetto voice, "we are  
poor and all, but we have to buy vegetables for our supper. I will go to the  
market, you stay here and take care of the house. And no running away like you  
did last time."

"I heard you…mother…" spoke monotone Samus.

_And so, the mother walked through the  
streets that were filled with black markets and other things. Once she reached  
the corner where she wanted to buy a cabbage, she saw a crowd of people  
gathering around something. Curiosity got the best of the old hag, that she  
walked towards the crowd. _Marth didn't move an inch. _I said, she got  
curious and walked over there! _Marth still didn't move an inch.

"_Dumbass, that's your cue!"_

"I'm so not going there," answered the cobalt haired prince,  
"you called me an old hag, so I'm not doing it."

"_Oh…aren't we touchy today, you sissy girl."_

"I'm not a sissy girl!"

"_Yes you are, sissy girl!"_

"Shut up!"

"_Then get your pansy ass over to the crowd and act your  
part!"_

_And so the mother walked over to the  
crowd and looked beyond the masses of things. From her point of view, she was  
able to read out the entire thing. All of a sudden a glimmer of hope was caught  
in her eye as she knew that perfect thing for her daughter. Soon, her ears  
pricked up and picked up the conversation of her neighbors._

"My daughter is amazing," spoke a blue haired man named  
Hector, "she can perform magic."

"My daughter is awfully cute and is top ranked in her  
school," said another guy.

"Well…my daughter….um…" spoke Marth.

"Yes, miller…ess?" asked one of the townsfolk.

"Well…my daughter….can spin straw into gold! And not to  
mention, she's Victoria's Secret material."

_Once they heard that, all the townsfolk  
were amazed by it all. Marth…I mean the mother was not aware that Luigi, one of  
the king's men was close by. Upon hearing the announcement, he rushed towards  
the king and told him about the entire thing. King Mario opened his beady eyes and  
announced that the Daughter Auction…thingy will begin now._

"All-a right, all-a of-a you with daughters, come-a here  
and-a bring them-a at once!" Shouted King Mario.

_Like some miracle or something they all  
heard. And I will not get into detail of how long the line was and such,  
because there is no need to bother with such things. And so, Marth…gah, the  
mother, rushed towards her home and carefully grasped her daughter's arm and  
took her with her. _Marth, grabbed onto Samus' arm and in one pull, he got  
her up on her feet, almost ripping her arm off.

_And so came the judging of the women.  
King Mario and Queen Peach were looking at all the women. Finally Luigi pointed  
out which one was the mother in which he heard it from. Mario snapped his  
fingers and the guards took a hold of Samus._

"Is-a this-a the one who-a can spin-a straw into-a gold?"  
Asked the king.

"Yeah, this-a is-a the-a one, I heard-a it from-a that-a old  
bag over-a there," spoke Luigi as he pointed at Marth.

"Old bag! I'll show you old bag!" Yelled Marth as he rolled  
up the sleeves from his dress.

"Listen-a you, we-a are here to-a take your-a kid to-a make  
you-a rich."

"Rich? Why….certainly. My daughter can spin  
straw into gold…except…we don't have much straw and we needed the money to pay  
off the debt to our happy little home. But now she's all ready twenty-four and  
she has all ready passed the appropriate age of eighteen to leave the house.  
She's such a bum, she didn't even go to college. But I'm sure she will be a  
fine wife for the prince, now go on, Samus to marry the prince."

"Spin straw into gold!" Let out Samus as she glared at the  
"prince."

"Oh, ho, ho, Samus is such a kidder," said Marth.

"All-a right, this-a woman will-a be my son's-a wife….only  
if-a she-a can-a make me gold!" Spoke Mario. "Take-a the-a girl to the-a tower.  
And lock-a her up, so-a she can-a concentrate. And if-a we-a don't-a see any-a  
gold, then she-a will be hanged!"

"I'm gonna so kill you for this…. 'Mother'…" Barked Samus.

"I didn't think it would come down to this, but too bad,"  
replied Marth. "Good luck trying to spin straw into gold."

"You…"

Before Samus could say a single word, the  
guard took a hold of her and covered her mouth. _And so the guards took the  
young girl away from the king and queen and placed her in the highest toward.  
Opening a rather shackled door, they placed in the girl with such ease. _The  
guards took the girl and tossed her roughly into the hay. Samus moved up from  
the hay and spat it out from her lips.

"You have until morning, right after the king's breakfast  
and second breakfast," called one of the guards as he closed the door.

"Damn bastards!" growled the bounty hunter. "And damn that  
mother of mine! Ugh! Now what am I gonna do? I can't do crap with straw, not  
even stuff a scarecrow or anything! I'm so gonna die."

_With a bit of pixie dust and all that  
magical crap, once the girl began to cry…._Samus stood there being  
emotionless. _I said when the girl began to cry…_still, nothing came from  
the blonde girl. All Samus did was yawn.

"_Hey! Focus here and start with the water works!"_

"Crying is not my dish," replied the bounty hunter.

"_Fine, then I will fix that!"_

A rather large stage light fell from the  
ceiling and landed upon Samus' foot. Upon impact, the blonde woman's emerald  
colored eyes began to water. She let out a yell as tears fell down her cheeks. _Then  
when the girl was crying her eyes out, something magical happened. As if her  
cries were answered, a shadow was lurking in the dark. _

_The shadow had over heard her cries of  
pain and decided to come inside. _A hand was placed upon the open window  
sill followed by a rather ugly looking head. Bowser appeared at the window,  
wearing a funny looking green hat and a short green tunic. He slipped his  
upper body into the window, but had gotten stuck right at half way. The giant  
turtle began to struggle and move to get in but had no avail.

"Damn these thighs of mine!" shouted Bowser. "That's it! I'm  
going on the Matkin's Diet and lose this fat!"

"I'd say," responded Samus.

"Hey! A little help here would be nice!"

"Sigh…everyone is such a bother."

The blonde bounty hunter walked over to the  
stuck Bowser and grabbed onto his claws. Using her strength she began to pull,  
but it seemed useless. Samus placed her feet upon the bottom part of the wall  
and pulled harder. Suddenly, with one final pull, she managed to pull Bowser  
out from the window and fly through the hay. Upon that impact, part of the  
window broke, leaving it with a new and oddly different shape.

"At least I landed in something nice and soft," said Bowser  
as he smiled happily.

"Yeah, yeah, now who are you and what the hell do you want?"  
asked Samus.

"Wow…do you appreciate the help that is given to you."

"It looks like you're the one that needed the help, tubby."

"Hey, do you want me to help you with the stupid straw or  
not?"

"What can you do? You're just a giant turtle…thing."

"Well…for your information, I'm a great and magical….guy. I  
can spin this very nice and soft straw into gold for the fat ass king."

"Okay…that just clearly disrupts the laws of physics and  
everything of nature. How can you do that?"

"I said I'm magical. Gah! No one believes in magic these  
days. Anyway, I'm gonna do it, but you're gonna have to pay."

"Pay?" asked Samus.

"Yes! I'm not a philanthropist, you know!" said Bowser.

"Ugh! What do you want? I'm a poor girl, so I don't have any  
money."

"Well…then…I guess….not even a coupon for ice cream?"

"Zippo! Nada!"

"Damn, you one broke ass woman! All right, then I will take  
your ring around your neck."

"My ring? But this ring is my mother's. She gave it to me  
for my birthday. And it's just made out of pieces of wood and such."

"I want what's most precious to you! Now give me that ring!"

"Okay! Thank God someone took it! The thorns were starting  
to hurt me."

Samus took off the ring and threw it at  
Bowser. The Koopa King caught it with his bare claws, but the thorns on the  
ring pricked his claw. Bowser let out a yelp before he tried to take out the  
thorn stuck on his claw. _After the young woman gave the strange man her most  
valuable possession, she let out a sorrowful cry. _Samus glared at the  
narrator.

"Oh…boo, hoo, I'm wallowing away in my sorrow for some  
stupid ring," spoke bluntly Samus.

_And so, the strange man began to work  
right away as he got on the spindle. The young woman looked on in quite shock  
as she saw the straw turn into pure gold before her very own eyes. _The  
blonde bounty hunter was busy listening to some rock music while reading a book  
about necromancy. _She was….missing all the gold in front of her._

"Gold!" Shouted Samus as she took off her headphones and  
looked at all the gold. "Wow…with this, I can retire from bounty hunting! Screw  
marrying the prince!"

"Shut it, you're not going anywhere, because the story is  
continuing!" yelled Bowser. "Besides, you need to sleep."

"I hardly do sleep."

"Here…have this…nice cup of tea then," said Bowser as he  
took out a sleeping pill and dunked it into the tea, waiting for the pill to  
dissolved.

Samus took the cup of tea in her hands and  
drank it all in one gulp. In just one second flat, she was passed out by the  
floor. _And through out the entire night, the weird man kept spinning straw  
into gold. Morning came by and all of the straw had finally finished. With  
that, the strange man took his leave and disappeared before the break of dawn. _Bowser  
walked over to the window and looked down at the thousands of stories he had to  
jump down on.

"Crap…I didn't pack a parachute," he said, "now how am I  
gonna get down?"

A giant bird that was flying off into the  
horizon was passing by. It defecated on Bowser's hair, which angered the Koopa  
King. He tried to reach for the bird, but sadly having too much weight on him,  
fell over the window and fell down onto the ground with a loud thud. Upon  
hearing that sound, Mario and Peach had woken up and stood dumbfounded by the  
sound.

"Grr…next time, I'll take a latter!" spoke Bowser as he  
fainted inside of his body hole in the ground.

_Morning arose and the king eagerly went  
towards his breakfast then waited until he finished his second breakfast to  
walk towards the tower. The guards had opened the door and waited for the king  
to walk up the tower. Finally, after chunky made it up the stairs, he couldn't  
believe his beady blue eyes. Inside was a room full of gold._

"Oh, excellent!" squealed Mario, "you did-a good-a job!"

"Eh…? Wha?" let out Samus as he woke up. "Oh…the gold!"

"All right! We'll-a be-a taking this-a gold! You-a do one-a  
more batch-a and I will-a let-a you marry my son."

"What! I have to make another batch for you! Why you  
fat…!"

"Hey, Mari…I mean father, how come I have to marry some girl  
I don't know?" asked Link as he walked down the stairs.

"It's-a because she can-a make us-a rich!" replied Mario.

"But I don't even know what she looks like!"

"Then-a come-a see for-a yourself!"

Link walked over to inside of the room and  
saw Samus. _It was then that the prince saw his supposedly wife to be. Cupid  
struck his heart as everything around him just spun around. _Two giant  
hearts appeared upon Link's cerulean eyes as he kept his gaze on Samus. The  
bounty hunter was left confused for a moment, but then she caught the idea and  
decided to play hard to get.

"Wow…why didn't you tell me she's hot?" asked Link.

"Because-a she doesn't-a have such-a a good-a set-a of  
meatballs," said Mario.

"What the hell!" shouted Samus. "Good set of meatballs! You  
perverted fat ass!"

"Just-a do your-a last one set-a and-a then-a we can-a get  
you a-married off to Link here pronto!"

The guards had to drag off Link from just  
standing there, drooling at Samus. One of the guards accidently touched the elf's  
chin and felt the drool. He let out a whine about how dirty the prince is  
before that locked the door. _And so, once again the girl was left alone in  
the tower, with nothing to eat. And she waited for night to come by for the  
magical person to appear._

"Oh! Where the hell is that fat thing!" shouted Samus.

"I…I'm here…!" Came a faint voice.

"Oh, finally you have? Where the hell were you? I've been  
waiting the entire day for you to show up!"

"Hey! I have plenty of things to do!" shouted back Bowser.

"Like?"

"Well…."

Bowser took the time to think of flashbacks  
which he did earlier in the day. He had been looking around the area and  
thought about a nice chocolate town. He skipped merrily down the road and began  
to eat every single thing with chocolate. Then the scene changed to a part  
where he was by the bathroom stall. He looked at his watch and grinned evilly  
as he knew what time it was. He quickly grasped Captain Falcon and dunked his  
head into the toilet. He then flushed it, making a swirly for the captain.

"Do, do…dodo do, do….do, do…" sang Bowser as he went off  
into his fantasies.

"What the hell! Are you finished yet?" shouted Samus.

"Shhh!" Let out Bowser. He then gazed into the stars for a  
bit and smiled like if he was high on ecstacy. "Okay, I'm done!"

The giant tortoise pulled himself up inside  
of the room and looked at all the straw. He couldn't believe how much he had to  
make this time. _The strange magical man rubbed his chin in thought as to  
figure out what he wanted to collect now._

"Okay…this one will cost you double, sister," said the giant  
turtle.

"Double! On what? Wait…you want money for when I'm queen,  
right?" asked Samus.

"No…what I want from you…is far more important then money. You  
have no love for money, that is why…he, he, he, 'no love for money' that's such  
a joke."

"Just keep going."

"Okay! What I want from you is the first born kid!"

"What! Ewww! I don't want to have a kid!"

"Too bad, either way, there is no protection to hide you  
from 'Little Link' so either way, you two will knock each other off and have a  
kid. So I want that kid, got it?"

"Fine, whatever."

_And so with that set deal, the magical  
man began to work on more straw and turned it into gold. Once again, he had to  
drug the woman so that she wouldn't just get the gold and steal it for herself.  
Once he was finished, he looked out the window and saw that morning was  
arising. _Bowser looked down and saw that latter he had posted there. He  
slowly put one foot down and began to climb down. Below him a couple of guards  
were just passing by.

"Hey John!" called out guard one.

"Hey Jim!" called out guard two.

"Did you hear about what happened last night?"

"No, I didn't. What was it about?" Asked the second guard as  
he accidently hit the latter, making it wobble.

It was then that due to Bowser's enormous  
weight, that gravity took its toll. The latter fell back and broke in two.  
Bowser let out a yell as he was sent flying down and once again landed in the  
same body hole, which was not bothered to be covered. The giant turtle glared  
at the two guards and ate them in one gulp. Once again Mario and Peach were  
awakened by the same thud.

_Once again, morning came and the guards  
had to wait for Mario to finish his second breakfast before they marched over  
and waited for his Italian fat ass to reach there. Once they had arrived, they  
opened the door and Mario was once again happy to see all the gold in the world  
that he wanted. The Prince Link had rushed through his room and arrived to see  
the gold._

"Well-a done!" spoke Mario. "You can-a marry my-a son!"

"Oh, a wedding!" squealed Peach. "I love weddings! I'm going  
to get all the decorations and such! And I'm picking out your dress because you  
don't have a fashion sense at all. I mean look at you. Those rags are so  
thirteen century."

"Oh…you are so going down for that…" Sneered Samus.

_Anyway, not to bore you with details, the  
wedding took place that same day. They searched everywhere for Marth, and  
eventually found her/him hiding at Great Bay, enjoying the son. When she/he  
heard about the wedding, they dragged her sorry ass anyway. And so, Queen Peach  
picked a dress for the peasant girl, which was pink, and got her married to  
Link. Lucius was the priest. About five years later, a miracle happened. The woman  
and the prince had some kid, though it took them quite a lot of "wrestling" to  
get him, and not to mention how the countless of times Link begged to do so,  
while Samus was not allowing it, it happened._

_The kingdom was happy and crap and  
everyone was celebrating by the only way they could: getting drunk. Yes, one  
can say it was a new Saint Patrick's Day for them as they saluted to the new  
born prince. One day, while the new princess was tending to her son, a dark shadow  
arose and soon, the magical man appeared._

"Heh, I'm here for the kid!" shouted Bowser.

"Um…who the hell are you?" asked Samus.

"What! You forgot?"

"Yeah…I don't remember unimportant people."

"Look, we did a deal! I spin you the stupid straw into gold  
so you can marry your pretty boy prince. Then when I finished that, you owed me  
your kid."

"Do you have a visible contract? If you don't I don't think  
the court judge will be in your favor."

"What! Okay, putting in lawyers is too far! Remember, you  
have five days to try to figure out my name. If you don't then I will take your  
kid! Remember! Five day!"

_And with that, the magical guy  
disappeared, leaving a rather distressed princess. _Samus had a rather stoic  
look on her face as she carried her son and walked towards the king and queen. _The  
girl told her new parents everything and the entire kingdom was shocked. They  
sent off faithful servants to get them a rather large baby names book and they  
began to read them. The first day came._

"Okay, let's here you guys try to figure it out," said the  
giant turtle.

"Is it Milton?" asked Peach.

"No!"

"Oh…I thought it was Milton."

"Don't tell me you forgot my name!"

"Well…wasn't it Brutus?"

"Gah!"

"Is-a it-a Stupid?" asked Mario.

"No it's not…wait! You fat ass!"

"Is it Ganondorf?" asked Link.

"No! I wouldn't be caught dead with a name like that if I  
didn't have such a huge honker he like does!"

"I heard that!" shouted Ganondorf, whom isn't supposed to be  
in this story.

"It's Bowser isn't it?" said Samus.

"Well…um…damn it! You're close, but no cigar! Now I will  
take my leave! Bye, bye!"

_The next day…._

"Timmy?"

"No," answered Bowser.

"Tubby?"

"No!"

"Rich?"

"No!"

"Eric?"

"No! No!" replied Bowser. "You're drawing near to the end!  
You'll never figure it out! The kid is mine!"

_And so the magical guy disappeared. The  
kingdom grew worried for the child. And at the moment, Luigi, their faithful  
servant came back and told what happened in the woods. Once it was set, they  
all agreed. The next day came by and that was when the magical man came  
prancing it._

"It's Rumpelbowserskin," said Samus.

"What! How did you know my name?" growled Bowser.

"Luigi told us, now go away so this stupid story can end  
and I can go back to sleep."

"Ugh! This isn't over yet! You still have to pay for your  
services! I'm taking this to court with me so be prepared to be sued!"

_And so the entire thing went to court in  
which the judge looked at the thing. The decision was hard to decide because  
the plaintiff was a moron and the defendant was a bitch. After about three  
months the case went on as the jury couldn't decide on what to do. The judge  
was left stupefied and so they awarded Rumpelbowserskin ten cents while the IRS  
took Mario and Peach's money, leaving their kingdom broke. Samus and Link tried  
to live a normal life, but their marriage was on the rocks and Samus wanted a  
divorce._

_It took them some wine and a night of hot  
monkey sex to make that up and so they had to stay at Samus' mother's house.  
Marth wasn't pleased with any of this, because she was put in charge of taking  
care of not one, but three bums. _

**End Mewtwo's Narrative**

"And so ends the story of Rumpelstiltskint," said Mewtwo, "now  
go to sleep!"

"The story sucked!" said Ness.

"You think you can do better!"

"Um yeah…you didn't put in a ninja in the story."

"What! There are no ninjas in medieval Europe! Now shut up,  
and go to sleep, you little demons!"

Mewtwo had about enough and hypnotized the  
children to sleep. Once he was done, he slammed the door shut and floated  
towards the library. _Why didn't I do this from the beginning? _Thought  
Mewtwo, _now finally, peace and quiet._ Or that is what he thought…

**The End!**

_Whoa…that was a long one shot, but it was just the  
dumbest thing ever. I hope you guys enjoyed it!_


End file.
